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What a fucking show man.
I saw Thrice tonight for the fifth and last time for a while (since indefinite hiatus mumbo jumbo). Nothing short of magic.
First band of the night was O’Brother. I really wish they weren’t the first, since the first opening band always plays the least amount of time. They opened for Thrice last time I saw them in October and I’ve really liked them since then. Finally got their most recent CD at the show and met their bass player, which is always sweet.
Second was Animals as Leaders. They were..okay I suppose. I usually like instrumental bands, but I don’t know about these guys. They’re all really talented musicians (it’s amazing that there’s only three people in the band), but they’re too metal-y for my taste. I did like how they had visuals playing in the background though. People in the crowd seemed to be into it.
And then there’s Thrice. Right now it’s all just a blur. The first three or so songs were like an ocean. Everyone was moving together, pushing and falling back. I’ve come in contact with more people in those first 15 minutes than I will ever want to again. Anywho, what is there to say? There were so many highlights I can’t even begin to list them. Image of the Invisible, especially when we were left to sing ‘We are the image of the invisible’. The entirety of The Earth Will Shake (which will forever be the best live song tied with Alkaline Trio’s Radio). The experience of hearing T&C live. And Anthology being played last. When I wrote about the last time I saw Thrice, I said something to the extent of it felt like a love song between Thrice and their fans. I think that’s the meaning the song has taken on, especially this last tour. They’ve played it pretty much every night and for me, hearing it tonight was an amazing experience. We’ve all changed each other’s lives, band and fan alike. And I really felt that during that last song.
Thrice has been one of my favorite bands for what seems like forever. I love everything they’ve put out (in comparison to most people there I was like a super fan, singing along to every song no matter which record/’era’ it came from), I’ve seen them live more than any other band, made friends through them, done a lot of things because of them. I’m sad that they’re doing this ‘indefinite hiatus’ thing, though it’s needed, mainly because I was there to experience the last five or so years as opposed to other bands where I discover them after they’ve broken up or gone on hiatus. There’s nothing to really miss there. As odd or absurd it is to say, I probably wouldn’t be the person I am today without their music forcing its way into my life, for better or worse.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Durm Burm, Take 75
Second Best- Pedro the Lion
Song Enjoyment 68: Waking Up
Get Up- Sleater-Kinney
Have I ever said how much I love Sleater-Kinney? Yes I have (Song Enjoyment 53), but let’s do it again. I can’t even begin to elaborate. What they bring to the table, still after familiarizing myself with them for months now, is still fresh and incredible. Last time I talked about them, I talked about the aspect of the band being all female and writing about gender politics, as well as gushing about the instrumentals. That’s one big part in why I think they’re so great (that and the fucking awesome guitars and drums). I really never thought about anything involving gender inequality before looking at various riot grrl bands. My place was my place and that was that. I feel like it would be weird to say that I found some empowerment through S-K, but I kind of did. I can be more than ‘just a girl’, passive and submissive (not that I ever really was). I don’t have to fall into the stereotypes that plague my gender nor feel bad about being different from the ‘norm’. No one does.
The Hot Rock is comparatively a calmer album. Well, maybe not calmer more than it is…different. It’s very out there. I’m not sure how to describe it, just much more airy/spacey than other Sleater-Kinney albums and it’s great. Get Up has become one of my favorite songs in general. I remember hearing it for the first time and thinking ‘What is this spoken word stuff?’ and I thought it was pretty weird. It grew on me over time. I think…it’s about death? Death, sex (which looking at the lyrics again, it’s probably about that), feeling free/new, humanity, something like that. I don’t want to be concrete about what I think the song is about, because I really don’t know. I just get a sense of freedom when I hear it, which isn’t exactly lyrically induced. The beauty of the guitars draw me in. The best part of the song is easily around the end when they all sing ‘get up’. It’s incredible. Unifying. As cheesy as this sounds, it gives me chills every time I hear it.
My face.
It exists.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Whoop-dee-doo, Take 18
Old School Reasons- Alkaline Trio
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Fitting or Something, Take 3110
Sluttering (May 4th)- Jawbreaker
riboku replied to your photo: I have this thing where my brain is like ‘Oh my…
idek what the hell you’re saying ‘cause this looks cool as fuck ok
Okay look bro. My original idea was to have Mulan all there and have traditional Chinese flower/landscape painting stuffs in the background. Then that didn’t work out and I changed it about 8 times before getting all Jackson Pollock on its ass and getting paint all over my life and okay.jpg
I have this thing where my brain is like ‘Oh my god, Sam. That is such a good idea. Let’s put it into action’
And then my hands react with ‘lolnope’ and decide to fuck shit up
I feel like I should write this down somewhere, so here it goes. Aren’t you lucky?
Lately I’ve been seeing just how separated I am from everyone. Family, friends, (mainly) peers, whatever. I spend most days inside my head to be perfectly honest. It’s been that way for years.
For some reason the fact that I don’t fit in started to become apparent in the latter half of my senior year of high school. Wonderful timing, just when I’m about to get out of here I’ve started to fully notice and dwell on what’s been going on for the last six years of my life. I’m a fly on the wall, an invisible mammoth in the middle of the room hearing everyone talking about prom and senior week and all that bullshit kids get psyched up about because of reasons I couldn’t honestly list. I don’t understand it.
Maybe because I’ve never really made friends throughout my school career beyond elementary school. There’s that whole bullshit clique thing. Cliques, groups of friends, whatever you want to call it. I never had that. Why, I don’t know. It just wasn’t in the cards I suppose. I’m not good for anything other than a sarcastic comment.
I feel very underdeveloped socially. A lot of the time I’m honestly afraid to talk to other people. I walk my dog a different way if my neighbors are out, I flat out ignore people sometimes because I don’t know what to say; I just avoid social interaction as much as possible. I really don’t like to talk to people I don’t trust I suppose, and the people I trust can be counted on one hand. Even when I’m talking to them I’m scared shitless to strike up conversation.
Then there’s the utter disdain I feel for most people I’m forced to share the ten mile radius with. Everyone is rather similar. Like there’s a few templates and people are either one or another. Looks, personality, likes, dislikes, voices, whatever. It’s all the same. I’m confusing myself right now. I’m not sure whether or not I’m annoyed that everyone is the same or that I’m different. I am by no means a special snowflake. I just find myself to be different from everyone I’ve come in contact with in terms of what I think, what music I listen to, what I wear, even my goddamn hairstyle. Sameness is everywhere in the world and I’m pretty sick of this particular vein of it.
What am I even complaining about anymore. You see in nearly every piece of high school related media a want/need to ‘fit in’. There’s no such thing as loners. I spend 6+ hours a day with people who see me as a novelty, if they even see me at all. That’s where I fit in. I’m a tool for amusement. And I know it. Like when I get asked questions like ‘Are you going to prom?’ and the resulting fuss when I say ‘no’; what effect could that possibly have on you other than losing the opportunity to see the novelty of me in a dress or taking pictures? I don’t matter to these people. Just a quick laugh at how witty or ‘out there’ I am every once in a while and then back on with the trivial drama of the day. And I go back to being the invisible mammoth.
Well this is certainly a rant. I’m just reflecting on how alone I’ve seen myself these past few days I guess. I see how I don’t talk to anyone and no one talks to me, that I elect to sit alone and work alone, that I spend half of the time trying to sort out my thoughts either mentally or through a notebook. I wonder what people think about me when they see me. Do they feel sorry for me? Or do they just think that I’m weird and leave me alone? It wouldn’t bother me if I didn’t hate being pitied. I have varying issues; mental, social, etc., but don’t feel goddamn sorry for me.
I’m Sam. I’m a loner. Not a high and mighty snob who looks down on people and won’t give them the time of day, not a desperate idiot looking for friends. I don’t make fun of people maliciously. I don’t worship them either. I’m just kind of there.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Walking Backwards, Take 9035
Apply Some Pressure- Maximo Park
Song Enjoyment 67: Blub
T&C- Thrice
Thrice announced that they were going on an indefinite hiatus a few months ago. It made me…rather sad. They’ve been a pretty significant part of my life the past five years. They, like so many other bands, were there during my (on going) adolescent years and helped me grow. Musically and as a person. It feels sort of weird to talk about this to be honest. Most of the bands I get into tend to either break up or go on ‘indefinite hiatus’ before I even know about them; and for one band that I caught, even if it was for just five years out of a thirteen year career, to essentially break up is something I’m not used to. Especially since it’s a band I’ve been going to concerts to since I was 13. Nothing lasts forever obviously, and I’ll always have the records they made and the memories involving them. It just feels like I’m losing a bit of my youth.
Thrice went from a…hardcore/melodic punk band I suppose to an experimental/post hardcore band over the course of their career. Personally I like both stages (however I will say that the earlier songs are sort of boxed off, like their ideas were big but they couldn’t express them properly), but some people tend to prefer one or the other. This is a song off of their first album, first demo even, one that they retired live years ago (but by some sort of magic I predict they’ll play at their last show). I’m going to say that the meaning is simple and that it ties back to my ‘couldn’t express ideas properly’ theory. It’s talking about how you imagine everything being perfect in your head, but it ends up being shit despite how much you put into it. Honestly that feeling stings me quite a bit these days. No matter how passionate you are about what you’re doing, you can and likely will fail at it. Just have to keep trying I guess. And yes, there is a Dragon Ball Z reference near the end.
(Source: Flickr / sleater-kinney)
Song Enjoyment 66: Tired
Mayonaise (Live)- The Smashing Pumpkins
I was watching a video of Billy Corgan recently and I saw how many wrinkles he has. It sort of makes me feel old, even though I wasn’t even alive for the first two of the Pumpkins’ records. What right do I have to feel old? When people think of Billy Corgan, they think of the bald guy on stage screaming with the black ‘Zero’ shirt and the silver pants, even though he hasn’t been that guy in over 16 years (aside from the bald part). It’s the image that made the band, signified them as a voice for the disenchanted, the masses of the angry and depressed. I have a really strange undying admiration for this band. I was a teenager in the 2000s, why should I care? Really, I don’t know. The music just connects with me. I don’t want to be one of those crotchety elitist types who goes on and on about how music today is shit and music back 20/30/40 years ago ‘meant something’. I’m just perpetually stuck in the ’90s as far as my music tastes go.
All that gibberish aside, let’s talk. This song is very much…I don’t know. The instrumentals are very spacey, the signature Pumpkins style. Kind of nonsensical in the lyrical department however. I’m going to say it’s about wanting to be yourself. Not following, being an individual, finding out who you are, stuff of the like. I can’t explain it very well. Just that I feel this way, right at this very moment. Pretty much lost, I suppose. Trying to figure out who I am because I realized that I have no damn clue; the whole ‘out of hand and out of season, out of love and out of feeling so bad’ bit hits me there (for some strange reason, considering the latter portion isn’t too true for me). And that line, ‘I just want to be me’, resonates so much. Who couldn’t relate to that?
